After reading my essay over again, I have decided that all I really needed was the last paragraph. The rest of it was just a lot of fluffy philosophizing that was quite disjointed. Not very interesting to read. So, my essay is now just a paragraph long but sometimes less is more, right? What do you think?
Dillon kisses all four of us in our sleep every morning at 4am before he leaves for work. He works twelve hour days, then comes home and vacuums. We oogle at our kids together over dinner. He holds my hand during story time. He shows our little boys how to fold their arms for prayer at night. He brings me a burp cloth and situates it carefully on my shoulder as I rock the baby. We talk about politics over dishes: he washes, I dry. We are in the middle of the hard work of true love.
4 comments:
Oh my goodnesss, I almost started to cry. I love that. There is so much love in this paragraph! You are truly talented working with words and bringing out emotions.
Your family is so cute. Isn't it such a blessing to have such a helpful husband!
I love both of them. For sure the second version is really the best part of the first version, but I was definitely reading the first one with interest and I really enjoyed the details of you and Dillon in your different roles. I like how you showed in the beginning and end of the first one, and maybe what you aren't digging about the middle part is the telling...? Just an idea. I really don't think you can do without that first paragraph, and while the second version definitely speaks to the challenge theme, I can't be wholly satisfied by it after reading the first version because we've talked about this nagging of what happens to that cool, hip, young, connected romance when the mundane and demanding are added to it. I feel like you are really feeling that contrast and so I loved reading that, knowing the context and I think the picture you painted in the first part of the first version is very articulate. Anyway, I'll be back Weds and we'll talk more.
Anne, this is a beautiful tribute. I really enjoyed the discussion in your original essay--it didn't read disjointed at all. But you're right, this paragraph is powerful. You paint a very vivid picture with just a few words. Everyday moments that are tremendously meaningful, if we only take the time to see. Thank you for sharing. You should print that graf and frame it!
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